


Where Did You Go?

by LightLeadingMe



Category: Will & Grace
Genre: Best Friends, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 05:18:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18910345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightLeadingMe/pseuds/LightLeadingMe
Summary: song fic to ilomilo by Billie Eilish





	Where Did You Go?

Karen sat bored at her desk, her freshly pink painted lips pursed and her hands absentmindedly fiddling with her lipstick tube. Grace stood across the room, twirling a colored pencil between her thin fingers, her curly red hair piled on top of her head with a few stray pencils littering the "rat's nest" as Karen so eloquently put it earlier than morning. The day was slow and Karen swore she was dying a little more on the inside with each passing second, a comment she continously kept making to Grace who would only respond with a roll of her eyes. Just as Karen was about to stand up and call the three hour work day done, Jack came through the door with a huge smile on his face, immediately causing Karen to perk up and crack a grin for the first time all day.  
  
"Ohhhh my God, you're never going to believe this," he sing-songed as he twirled in a cute little circle.  
  
Karen giggled and bounced in her seat, excited for the distraction of Jack and whatever he was about to announce. "What, honey?"  
  
"I just got a part in an actual Broadway show!" he exclaimed, hopping in place. "I'm gonna be playing the part of Eugene Florczyk in the musical production of Grease!"  
  
"Wow, Jack!" Grace smiled and walked over to hug him. "That's so exciting! Congratulations. Will and I will definitely be there opening night."  
  
"Thanks! I'll get you guys some tickets." He winked at her and turned to his best friend. "Well, Kare, aren't you going to congratulate me?"  
  
"Eugene Florczyk?!" Karen scoffed. "Isn't he the nerd?"  
  
"Well, yeah, but I'm sure it won't be that difficult." He looked at Grace over his shoulder. "I'll just Will on some tips about how to be a complete geek and what it was like to be a virgin for so many years. I'm sure he won't mind!"  
  
Grace snorted and stepped back over to her desk. "I'm sure he won't."  
  
"Well, Kare?" he asked again, reaching down to grab her hand. "Aren't you happy for me?"  
  
Karen stared up into his extremely happy and glowing eyes and couldn't stop the smile that broke out on her face. "Well, of course I am, Poodle!" She hopped out of her chair and grabbed his other hand, swinging their arms at their sides. "You know, I was offered a part in Grease when I was in college..."  
  
"Frenchie," Jack and Grace said simultaneously and Karen balked at them.  
  
"How'd you guys know?"  
  
"The voice," they answered with a shrug.  
  
Karen rolled her eyes and continued on. "Anyway, I turned down the roll. I was more of a Marty kind of girl. That "Freddy My Love" song was written based on my true life stories, you know."  
  
"Sure, Kare," Grace chuckled.  
  
Karen glared at Grace and opened her mouth to snap a biting remark in her direction, but Jack interrupted with a hand on her shoulder. "Karebare, let's go shopping so I look extra-fetching on my first day at rehearsal!"  
  
Two weeks later, Karen was taking Jack to his first rehearsal for his Broadway debut. Jack sat in a nervous fit beside her, rambling off the many travesties that could arise while he was on stage as Karen stirred her martini. His rambling was getting out of hand and way overdramatic, even for him, and she couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Jackie, everything is going to be fine," she spoke up when he took a breath. "You shouldn't be looking about all the negative things that could happen, but at all the positive! Honey, this is your big shot! Stop fussing!" The words spilled out so easily, but on the inside they made her heart thump louder and louder. Honestly, Karen was terrified about what this could be for her best friend and the future of their relationship. She was ecstatic for him that his dream was coming true, but she secretly hoped it would never happen. She had connections, she could have gotten him a part years ago, yet she kept her mouth shut due to her own selfishness. Would he make new friends? Would he ditch her and find someone new to shop and fool around with? She couldn't imagine a day without her Poodle, but as the limo turned down the street and parked in front of the building where Jack's rehearsals would be taking place for the next few weeks, she knew she couldn't stop the inevitable.  
  
"Thank you, Karen," Jack said as he opened the door.  
  
Her hand shot out and her fingers clasped around his wrist, halting him from climbing out of the vehicle. "Honey," she said softly and Jack looked at her innocently, blue eyes shining. "I know this is your dream, but are you sure this is what you really want? I mean, we can turn this car around right now and never look back. Just say the word."  
  
Jack stared at her in utter confusion and then a chuckle escaped his throat, making Karen nervously smile. "You're so silly, Kare," he said and Karen ignored the tightening in her chest. Jack leaned over and planted a quick kiss to her lips. "I'll call you after rehearsal, okay, Bear? I love you."  
  
She watched him step onto the sidewalk and waved to him before he closed the door. As the driver pulled away, Karen gulped down the rest of her martini and set the glass on the tray in between the seats. "Love you too," she whispered.  
  
_Told you not to worry_  
_But maybe that's a lie_  
_Honey, what's your hurry?_  
_Won't you stay inside?_  
_Remember not to get too close to stars_  
_They're never gonna give you love like ours_  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Jackie!" Karen exclaimed, clutching the cellphone in her hand. "Listen, honey, I was wondering if you wanted to-"  
  
"Oh, Kare, you're never going to believe it! Tony, the director, bought us backstage passes to Cher! I'm freaking out!"  
  
Karen's smile began to fade. "That-that's great, Poodle. When is the concert?"  
  
"Tonight!" he squealed and she had to pull the phone away from her ear for a moment. "I gotta go, Kare. We're all heading to dinner before the show. Ciao!"  
  
"But Jackie... Jack? Hello?" She stared at the phone and watched the "call ended" screen flash for a few moments before it went black. Karen pouted and closed the phone shut, setting it on her vanity. She took in her reflection on the small illuminated mirror, noticing the wet gleam in her green eyes. She scoffed and smacked the mirror away before standing up and taking in a deep breath. "Rosie! Mama needs her dinner!"  
  
Rosario entered the room with a tray filled with four different colored pills and a scotch, stalking over to Karen and stood with her hands on her hips. "Just how you like it, mamí."  
  
Karen tried to smile, but her heart felt heavy from missing her best friend. She reached out and snatched up all four pills, tossing them to the back of her throat and swigging her scotch down effortlessly. "Hit me again, RoRo!"  
  
Rosario raised her eyebrow. "But Miss Karen-"  
  
"Hey hey hey! I don't pay you to throw buts my way, I pay you to do as I say. Now get me another around! And don't be shy with the purple ones!"  
  
Rosario eyed her boss for a moment before she reluctantly turned and walked out of the room to fulfill her orders. Karen took off her robe and lay back on the bed, suddenly finding her evening wide open to drown in her sorrows rather than spend it with Jack, who obviously had too much going on to hang out with her. She hadn't seen him in almost two weeks. The director decided to close rehearsals for the show so she couldn't sit in to watch anymore and the rehearsal time doubled the closer they got to the opening of the show. She was losing him, fast, and she knew it. Will and Grace could only occupy so much of her time, so she filled up the extra space with more pills and alcohol than before.  
  
Just as the thought crossed her mind that maybe the second round of pills weren't such a good idea, seeing as the tiles on her ceiling were now green and talking to her, Rosario walked back into the room with a newly stocked tray, so all other thoughts left her mind.  
  
_Where did you go?_  
_I should know, but it's cold_  
_And I don't wanna be lonely_  
_So show me the way home_  
_I can't lose another life_  
  
_Hurry, I'm worried_  
  
As nights and days dragged on, Karen found herself in a daze. Grace had just left after practically dragging her home from the office. She always made excuses about leaving, but since Jack's absence, she spent as much time as she could with Grace and even found herself going to Will's office for impromptu lunches or dinners. She never thought she would be so lonely, but since Stan's passing and her failed marriage to Lyle, Karen relied on her friendship with Jack more than any other. She lay back in her large tub filled with bubbles and took in the scent of lavender that filled the room, trying to relax. A few minutes passed before she opened her eyes again realized she was crying. She rolled her eyes and wiped at her face, sniffling a bit before sitting up.  
  
"Get it together, Karen," she mumbled to herself. "You didn't have anyone for years and you were fine. A bit lonely, sure. But fine." She wiped at her face again and let out a long sigh. "And now you're talking to yourself..."  
  
After her bath, she stood from the tub and dried herself off, noticing her blurred vision did not cease and she was a bit wobbly on her legs. She didn't even dress herself for bed, opting for the feel of the expensive silk sheets against her naked body. Her head was screaming at her so she dug through her nightstand to gather a few unidentified pills, swallowing them dry.  
  
_The world's a little blurry_  
_Or maybe it's my eyes_  
_The friends I've had to bury_  
_They keep me up at night_  
_Said I couldn't love someone_  
_'Cause I might break_  
_If you're gonna die, not by mistake_  
  
"Are you sure it's okay that I'm here, honey?" she asked for the millionth time.  
  
"Karen, I told you," Jack sighed in annoyance. "I asked the director if you could sit in for an hour cause I never see you anymore and I miss you."  
  
She grabbed his hand and tugged his arm to stall his steps towards the room where rehearsals were taking place. "Do you really mean that?"  
  
Jack scrunched up his face. "Of course. Why would you think otherwise?"  
  
Suddenly self-conscious, Karen bit her lip and looked down the hall where Jack's new friends were lingering. "I feel like we're not connected anymore, Poodle and I-"  
  
"Kare, please no pet-names while we're here," Jack interrupted with a pleading, yet demanding tone.  
  
"Pet-names? Why?"  
  
Jack glanced around and lowered his voice. "I don't want everyone to think we're the typical 'fag-hag' couple. It is so 90s I could vomit. I'm a professional actor now and I have to keep up my image."  
  
"Image?" Karen almost laughed. "Jack, the show hasn't even opened yet and you're barely in it."  
  
Jack stood up straighter and took a step back, crossing his arms. "What are you saying, Karen?"  
  
"I'm not saying anything-"  
  
"Really? Cause it sounds to me that you're just jealous cause you're not the center of attention for once. I am!"  
  
"Seriously?" Karen taunted. "Every time something significant happens in my life you find a way to make it about you. I get that you're excited and you're following your dream and I'm happy for you-"  
  
"Are you?" he countered. "Cause it feels like you've been against this whole thing since I got the part."  
  
People were starting to gather, the argument getting louder and Jack took notice quickly. "You know, maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe you should leave."  
  
Karen's voice caught in her throat for a moment. "Jack, wait - I didn't mean to-"  
  
"Karen, please," he said firmly. "Go home."  
  
The group of Jack's friends giggled at the dramatic scene and her quick dismissal. Normally Karen would shout at them and embarrass Jack further, just to spite him for blowing her off like he did, but instead she turned on her heel and left as quickly as she could, feeling Jack's icy stare on her back.  
  
_So, where did you go?_  
_I should know, but it's cold_  
_And I don't wanna be lonely_  
_So tell me you'll come home_  
_Even if it's just a lie_  
  
"Karen, I'm serious, you should just talk to him. Tell him how you feel," Grace encouraged from across the desk as she gathered her Asian noodles with chopsticks.  
  
Karen scoffed, stirring her bloody mary. "Grace, it's not that simple. He has his own life now. He doesn't need me anymore. It happens, let's just move on."  
  
"But you're not moving on, Kare." Grace watched as Karen avoided eye contact, keeping her sights on the red juice in her cup. "Will and I are worried. You're not your normal self."  
  
"Grace, there's nothing I can do," she said, adamant. "Look, Jack is my best friend. He came into my life at the perfect time and honestly he changed it. He reminded me of my playful, childlike side that had been hiding since I became Mrs. Stanley Walker. And then he became someone I relied on, but he's proved countless times before that I'm nothing more than an endless cashflow to him. If he wants to distance himself from me then there's nothing I can do except let him."  
  
Grace pondered her words and the sadness behind them that she was desperately trying and failing to cover up. "You know he loves you, Karen."  
  
"He loves what I can do for him, there's a difference."  
  
Grace shook her head and folded up the container that held the left overs of her lunch, knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere with Karen when she had her mind made up. She set the food down and planted a kiss on Karen's forehead as she passed her on her way out of the office so she could wash her hands. Karen set her bloody mary on the desk and pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling a headache coming on. At first she wanted Jack all to herself. Now she just wanted him back in her life.  
  
_I tried not to upset you_  
_Let you rescue me the day I met you_  
_I just wanted to protect you_  
_But now I'll never get to_  
  
_Hurry, I'm worried_  
  
Jack jogged from the dressing room he shared with a few of the other cast members toward Will and Grace who were waiting for him by the stage doors after opening night. "So?!" he called out once he reached them. "What'd you think?"  
  
"You were great, Jack!" Grace said, hugging him.  
  
Will handed Jack a bouquet of flowers and also wrapped his arms around him. "The performance was really good. Everyone was really talented."  
  
"But I'm the most talented, right?" he asked seriously.  
  
Will and Grace each let out a chuckle, shaking their heads. "Yes," Will answered. "Your talent outshined the rest of your castmates, including the two leads who have Tony Awards..."  
  
"Oh my God, I know right?" Jack said. He twisted his lips and partially covered his mouth in case anyone was listening. "Talk about pity nominations." He stood back up and looked around, frowning when he didn't see a certain someone. "Where's Karen?"  
  
Grace glanced at Will, silently reprimanding him for not telling Jack that Karen was not coming. Will placed his hand on Jack's shoulder and gave him a soft look. "Karen couldn't make it."  
  
Jack visibly deflated. "Is it because of the fight we had a few weeks ago?"  
  
"That," Grace agreed with a nod. "And the past few months you've treated her and us like crap."  
  
"What are you talking about? I was busy with rehearsals for my first Broadway show!" he defended.  
  
"Jack, listen," Will squeezed his shoulder. "Grace and I didn't take it too hard because we have each other and our own lives to occupy our time. But Karen doesn't really have anyone else except us. And for the longest time you have been a huge part of her life. After that fight, and a few other careless things you have said and done the past few weeks, she just didn't want to stand in your way anymore."  
  
"Stand in my way?" he asked slowly. "She's never stood in my way. Sure, she's a little overbearing sometimes, but that doesn't mean I don't want her around."  
  
"Well your little spat the other day gave the impression you wanted nothing to do with her, Jack," Grace told him. "She hasn't been the most supportive about your career progressing, but she's just afraid of losing you. And after everything she's been through the past year, can you really blame her?"  
  
Jack contemplated their words for a few moments. "I should go see her and-"  
  
"Jack!" a fellow castmate shouted as he bounded over to them. "Come on, we're all heading to the opening night party!"  
  
Jack opened his mouth to respond when he caught the look of disappointment in Will and Grace's eyes. "Actually, Kyle, I have a previous engagement with my friends. I'll catch you all at the next party, okay?"  
  
Will and Grace's faces perked up and they linked their arms with Jack in the middle, exiting the building as Kyle stared on in shock.  
  
_Where did you go?_  
_I should know, but it's cold_  
  
Karen had just climbed into bed when the bedroom door burst open and the light flicked on suddenly, causing her to scream. She watched as Jack danced his way into the room, Will and Grace following behind with amused smiles.  
  
"Oh Saaaandy, can't you see, I'm in misery?" he sang as he stalked up to the bed. He grabbed Karen's hand and placed it on his chest while she giggled. "We made a start, now we're apart, there's nothing left for me..."  
  
Rolling her eyes, Karen grabbed a handful of Jack's shirt and pulled him into the bed with her, a shriek of surprise escaping his throat. Will and Grace jumped in on the other side of the bed, cozying up to each other.  
  
"What are you all doing here?" she asked. "Shouldn't you be at your big premier party?"  
  
Jack shrugged, his fingers fiddling with the silk of her nightgown that was settled on the top of her thighs. "I thought we could have our own after party here." At her confused expression, Jack leaned in closer. "I'm really sorry for the way I've been treating you, Kare. I haven't been a really good friend lately."  
  
Karen shook her eye, her eyes sad. "I'm sorry, too, Poodle. I should have been more supportive-"  
  
"But I should have listened better to your needs-"  
  
"-you were so excited about the show-"  
  
"-you're my best friend and you didn't deserve that-"  
  
"-you're my best friend too-"  
  
"Oh will you two just accept the apologies and move on?" Will interrupted, Grace nodding in agreement beside him.  
  
Jack and Karen smiled at each other. He closed the small gap between them and kissed Karen sweetly on the mouth. "I love you."  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
_And I don't wanna be lonely_  
_Was hoping you'd come home_  
_I don't care if it's a lie_  



End file.
